Things I've learned since becoming a mammy
I’m absolutely delighted, honoured and so excited to announce that this blog post I wrote has been published in a book!!!
The brand new book entitled “True To Life Parenthood: The Only Handbook You’ll Need” hits shelves on the 26th April and features honest, heartfelt and often hilarious tales and true stories from real life mammies such as myself, Lucy Kennedy, Leigh Arnold, Marissa Carter, Karen Koster, Imelda May and loads more. It’s a light hearted, fun, heart warming read, and would make a brilliant gift for a new mum. The book can be bought here.
Things I’ve learned since becoming a mammy..
I’ve been toying around with the idea of this post for a while, when it comes to motherhood, I feel as a new mammy all we read about is the highlights, the good bits, the joy and the fun and wow there is SO MUCH of that, but there is the hard times too, so I wanted to write a post about “The realities of being a new mum” I have no idea what I want to say or how to say it! But sure here goes…. 😉
Since getting pregnant and becoming a mum, I know my readership has changed so so much, and I know I now have so many new mammies or mammies-to-be following me, which I love… So this one is for you, I hope you can relate!!! 🙂
Let me start by saying, I do not have it all sorted, I am FAR from the ‘perfect’ mammy, I struggle every.single.day. I know you might see pics on Facebook/ Insta and think I am flying, but trust me the reality is far less glam!!!!!
TWELVE THINGS I’VE LEARNED SINCE BECOMING A MUM
1. The house will never be clean again
I am a neat freak, a perfectionist and hate things being messy. Que, the messiest house in the world, with baby stuff everywhere. I’m literally tripping over myself with the amount of bits and pieces!!! Learn to embrace it, as that’s just how things are now. If anything, it’s going to get worse!!!
2. You learn to do everything one handed
The amount of things I now do with one hand is truly amazing. It’s a skill I never knew I would be so good at. Washing out bottles, feeding the dog, opening the letter box, setting the table, (occasionally blogging!!!) yep…. ALL one handed, while I carry Anabelle (or AB as we call her). I think I deserve an award!
3. Your old body is gone…
I have dealt with countless women on personal shopping trips with me who have struggled with their new post-baby bodies, and I never truly understood it until I had a baby myself.
Your body is incredible, I am beyond fascinated with how I carried Anabelle and made this perfect, adorable, human that she is. I stare at her little fingers and toes in awe. To do that, your body had to go through some SERIOUS changes and yes, now you look different, maybe your tummy sags, maybe your boobs are bigger, or smaller or not as perky, or maybe you can’t loose those extra pounds you wish you could… to be the ‘old’ you. Who cares? Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know that is WAY easier said than done, but cut yourself some slack ladies – You created life!!! Give it time. My mum told me a few days post Anabelle’s arrival, Naomi, give yourself 6 months, just let time and nature take is course, and it slowly but surely it is.
I stuggled too, and I didn’t think it would bother me as much as it did, the big belly, the saggy overhang thing, but please, don’t be hard on yourself, your body will come back, just give it time and you will have a new, stronger and far more beautiful body than ever before.
4. In fact, the old you is gone
The old you? The carefree one, who did things like pop to the shops on a whim or head of to meet the girls for lunch or just have a casual few drinks on a Sunday? Yep, she’s gone. Take a minute, mourn that and then move on…. Yes, it is hard to accept. (This is one for first time mums). Your life will never, ever be the same again. But much like your old body, a new, better, more fulfilled life is developing right before your eyes. It’s the start of the next chapter, the old one is read, don’t look back, let’s look forward to all the brilliance that’s yet to come.
5. The tiredness is aggressively overwhelming
I have always been one of those people who needed A LOT of sleep, that’s just me, I cannot function without my sleep. This without a doubt is the hardest thing for me. Sleep deprivation. I haven’t slept properly in 24 weeks!!! And I feel like S**T, pretty much every day! It’s a tiredness you can’t even explain, your whole entire body aches and you want to curl up under a duvet for days, but… you can’t as there are a million and one things you need to do. My baby doesn’t sleep through the night yet, she has had so many issues, so I am not trying to let that upset me, she will when she is ready and able, but my good GOD, I am so tired.
Coffee is now my best friend!!!
6. You doubt yourself every single day
Every single day I doubt myself and feel I am doing things wrong. I know that’s normal, and I know it will get easier and I will get more confident in my decisions, but it’s hard not to feel like a big fat failure some of the time. There are so many decisions you have to make and you hope and pray you are making the right ones. The truth is, you will make mistakes, I am making countless mistakes, but you (and me) are doing the best we possible can, and that’s all we can do. For anyone else with babies with reflux or allergies or CMPI or any issues which makes them a little more high needs, then you will understand me even more. I keep telling myself, I am doing the best I can…. and repeat that to yourself!!
7. Sleep when they sleep is not always as easy as it sounds
If I had a euro for every time I heard this, I’d be swimming in a sea of Chanel bags and Jimmy Choos!!! 😉 This is not always just that easy. I do try and have the odd nap when I can, but someones got to do the laundry, pack the dishwasher, and do all the mundane things that have to be done!!!! Plus like a mad eijit I am trying to work on top of everything!!! And yes, as everyone likes to say ‘don’t worry about the house’… But dear lord, mostly this place looks like a bomb went off!
8 . Advice gets thrown at you from every possible angle
I’m dizzy with the amount of advice I get, and the thing is, everyone means well. They are trying to help, but you just get SO much advice (un asked for advice), and quite often conflicting advice that it can put you in a spin. People told me before to trust my own instinct, and I am still learning to do this. You need to be confident enough to trust your own judgement, you know your baby best, so don’t worry about what Mary’s cousin down the road did with her reflux baby, just focus on your baby, and trust yourself.
9. A shower, blowdrying your hair, painting your nails are all now luxuries
Yes, a shower. This is still a luxury, as for having time to properly blow dry my hair… ahhh gone be with the days! Now, it’s like a war zone in here when Cormac gets home from work, “quick take her, I need to shower”. The weekends are my fav, as that’s when Cormac is home and I can do nice things like go get my nails done and actually spend time drying my hair, but Monday to Friday it’s pretty much a lot of dry shampoo and hope!! And don’t even talk to me about my brows…. Oh lordy my brows!
10. You have a new found respect for your mother
You always knew she was a legend, but now, oh wow now you reeeealllly get it. The woman sacrificed everything for you, and you never even once thought that she had a life before you too. To this day, my mam is awesome. But now, as one of four kids, I have just so much respect for her and the upbringing she gave us all.
11. Nothing will or can prepare you
I read all the books (I hate you Gina Forde for making me feel so inadequate), I thought I was ready, I bought shed loads of stuff… “I got this” I thought to myself….. Hahahahahahah, oh if only I knew, if only. The truth is, nothing can or will prepare you for your first baby. But you you will get through it and you’ll be brilliant, just give it time.
12. You will feel love that is like nothing you have ever experienced before
Last, but not certainly not least, you will experience a love so deep, a love like nothing you ever ever felt before. Now, nothing else matters, nothing at all matters, except Anabelle Ivy, and her happiness and well being. It’s the kind of love that just consumes every single inch of you, and leaves you dreaming of her at night, even when you have just spent the day with her. Or flicking through photos of her when I go to bed at night, just to see that little face again.
It’s the kind of love that you would lay down your own life and DO ANYTHING for her. It truly is the most incredible, amazing, overwhelming feeling to love someone so much more than anything else in the world. So, you know what, f**k the dirty house, and your old skinny body and your unwashed hair and your aching, exhausted body, because this just surpassed it all, and makes every single hard, seemingly never ending, teary day worth it. She is my whole world and has given me more purpose than anything every will.
I could keep writing for days there are so many things I could say, but for anyone who has made it this far, thank you for reading 🙂 And if you have anything else to add, please leave a comment below for me 🙂
Hope you enjoyed 🙂
‘Til next time,
Great post, sitting here after finally getting shower, hair still wet, looking at the mess of toys on floor. I hav 2 yr old twins and a 5 mth baby, (1 twin has dairy allergy), and a crazy lovable dog. Every day is crazy but worth it, roll on the spring/summer being able to get out helps everyone x
Well done on writing such an honest account Naoimi. First time mammy here of a six month old girl…..I can relate to soooo many of the above points. If I were to add one thing to the above list, for me it would be: sunshine, fresh air and a good walk help everything!
Absolutely loved this!!:-) my little girl is 11.5 weeks old and my heart is bursting with the love I feel for her. Becoming a mam is the best thing that has ever happened me (along with meeting my husband!) and I’m grateful every single day to have been so blessed! xxx
Hey! Great post especially for new mammies! I have two kids now ages 3 and 20 months. I know the pain of sleepless nights with my youngest having reflux and they can grow out of it. Lack of sleep is a killer but it will get better in time. Would you try a cranial oestpath for your little girl! I found it really helped my little one.
Loved reading your post tonight, I only managed to get a shower before bed and couldn’t face drying it as less time in bed!! My son is 20 weeks but thankfully sleeps through the night well most of the time but nothing I did today seemed to make him happy so will put it down to just one of those days, roll on tomorrow as I gaze at him beside me in his cot xx
God love anyone who can’t or chooses not to have kids that their lives will never get better or fulfilled.
Fantastic read and we’ll done for being so truthful and honest Naomi. All so so true. The love for your own kids just grows by the day. Well done xxx
Great read Naomi! I’m so glad I’m not the only one experiencing all of the above!im a new mum to a 14 week old girl and every day is hard but the good days far out weigh the tough days! Love your blog keep it going!! Well done X
Gail O Mahony
Great read first time mom to a now 8 month old little lady! It was so nice to read your honesty. I know quite a few new moms over the last year, we are all superheroes!! From pregnancy, to birth, to breastfeeding, being home alone everyday caring for these beautiful little beings.. We rock!!
Well said,so honest but so true, well done we are all amazing
Mums and women! The best is yet to come x
Thank you Naoimi for sharing. I’m a mum of two girls and really enjoyed this read. Brings back memories of those same realisations when our oldest daughter was born!! The madness continues on!! I’m a newcomer to your blog etc and am really enjoying. Well done xx
A brilliant, honest post & a great read for me as I sit feeding my 6 month old baby girl at 4am! Oh what I wouldn’t give for 8 hours straight sleep but like you say, it’s so worth it!
Thank you, thank you, thank you – this post is pretty much my life right now with my 5 week old daughter. I also find the sleep deprivation by far the most difficult thing to deal with but of course she is worth every sleepless night. Best of luck and keep doing what you’re doing – your very best! Xx
Been there done that what an experience wouldn’t change any of it.
P.s liking camel coat and jumper where can they be bought
So true, every word and very honest! You worry like you have never worried before but you love like you’ve never loved before. It is a privilege to be a Mum, we are very blessed x
Don’t forget-it’s not an overhang, muffin top or even a fat belly. I refer to it as my kangaroo pouch!
Yes great post. Even though in 9days time i will become a new mammy again -4th time & yes iam scared shitless about all the change a new baby will bring. Obviously i ve survived all 3 previous new babies & all that goes with rearing a family these days etc but still scary ! Motherhood brings out qualities you never knew you had before !
Wow you didn allow my comment on this blog? Shouldn bloggers allow both opinions be shown on the material they make public rather than just the side which agrees with them? Baffled
What a brilliant post! Love your blog… Snap chat etc !! Keep it up! Xxx
Great read.. Iv two boys oldest is 5 Other nearly 2 and everyday is hard work.. I work 40 hours a week and some days im so tired I can hardly talk… BUT they are my world and I wouldn’t change a thing…xxxx
Loved this article! My little girl is 6 months on Saturday & this article sums it up completely! X
Lovely post and all so true, wish someone had told me all of that before I had my little girl. No. 12 brought a tear to my eye. Good for you reminding all the mammies what a good job they are doing. Thanks x